Dirty Dishes = Chaos

I like to study women. At first that sounds like I like to ogle them which I do enjoy but that’s not what I am writing about. I like to collect data on women and then try and figure out why they are so fucking insane!

Here is some of that data that I have collected which I think may be the key to understanding chaos.

Three separate women all displayed this behavior in the last month:

The woman sees her boyfriend/husband putting dishes in the dish washer in a manner she does not like. This could mean that the dishes have not already been washed to the point of which putting them in the dishwasher is pointless or it could mean that the dishes have not been placed in the dishwasher according to the position of the moon relative to Oprah. Now the man is pushed aside and scolded so the women can do it “correctly”.

At some point in the future more dishes become dirty and need to be cleaned. The women in this situation have all expressed to the men that it’s just easier to handle the dirty dishes situation then to have to go back and double-check if a man has done everything correctly. So in accordance with the women’s wishes the men ignore the dishes because it’s not worth getting yelled at for trying to help incorrectly.

Even further in the future the men discover that the women seem to be acting strange. It is though the women in this situation are mad at them for no reason. When the men confront these women the women all explain that it’s a lot of work cleaning dishes and it sure would be nice to have some help from a lazy ass man.

Now let’s break this down so we can really see what is going on.

Man loads dishwasher (MLD) + Dishwasher cleans the dishes (DW) = Clean dishes (CD)

Women loads dishwasher (WLD) + Dishwasher cleans the dishes (DW) = Clean dishes (CD)

Curiously we have the same result CD no matter who loads the dishwasher. However, this situation only works if one uses logic. When we throw the women’s emotion into the equation then chaos begins.

Let’s take a look shall we?

MLD or as women call it (You must not love me anymore if you are going to leave that flake of basil on that plate because we all know that hot water and soap could never clean that off) + DW or (I know that flake of basil may look like it’s gone to the untrained man eye but it’s really there and now you must think I’m fat) = CD or (How could you do this to our relationship you son of a bitch!)

WLD or (you fat lazy asshole is it too much to ask for you to mow the lawn and wash a couple of dishes?) + DW or (Why are destroying our marriage?) = CD or (I can’t possibly communicate with my man I must act like a bitch so it will give me the opportunity to deny him sex)

Well now we understand that the logic of the situation in addition to the emotion of the situation added together equals that women are beautiful out of their fucking mind creatures that men have no choice but to try and appease long enough to get a piece of ass.