Red Dawn

Now this idea may sound a little crazy at first but give it a chance. Why don't all women agree to wear red when they are having their period? It could even be a very special shade of red that GAP could market on TV with skinny looking coke whores looking like they either want to die or have sex. This wearing of the red would have far reaching implications. Imagine if you are male or even better a female looking for a little same on same action and you go to a bar looking for a one night stand. You immediately know who not to talk to unless you are just really brave or really desperate. Husbands could come home and without a word understand that it's time for some last minute "late work meetings" for the next week. The kids would even get excited because "CRAZY MOMMIES BACK"! Even people walking down the street would have instance knowledge of who to avoid.

I know some readers may be rolling their eyes but you have yet to see the perks for women! Say you are a women wearing your GAP period red and you go to a busy mall but you can't find a parking space. Just then one opens up and you arrive at the space just as another car does. The person in the other car immediately yields once they see the red because they aren't freaking crazy! Maybe you finally get in the mall and you need to return something and you're worried the store won't take it back. That dipstick behind the counter isn't going to argue with you because they realize it could be a life and death mistake! You could be walking through the mall and bust into spontaneous tears because you think you painted the living room the wrong color and total strangers will console you because you have on the red! I'm not even going to get into things like, cutting to the front of lines, not getting raked over the coals at the car repair place, and being able to act totally irrational at anytime with complete and total understanding from anyone who can see.

The only problem I can see is how to include gay men during their bitchy time. I guess maybe they could have a special rainbow red because God forbid Americans start treating people like humans instead of precisely divided groups who all conform to the typical stereotype!